A Child’s World of Animals

Spike, a Queensland

Victor Davis Hanson // Private Papers

 Part Three

At 10 or 11, we graduated to do more of the shooting—with more of the same repetitious caveats, “Never shoot a bird on the wire.” I shot instead cottontails with another of my dad’s ancient guns, a 1890 Winchester .22 pump. I brought the carcasses to my grandfather around 5 PM on weekends. He paid a dollar for each, and skinned two or three. And my sainted grandparents fried them for dinner.

Once at 13, I shot a pregnant possum and collected the babies that emerged alive. No need to go on. But after that I quit shooting for six months.

Then I began noticing quite abruptly that rabbits shrieked when hit—if you listen. They cry out in a shrill human-like voice. After that I quit hunting them altogether and have never shot one since. I later cursed myself for shooting any of them, even when they devoured the shoots in the young vineyard. So I mostly liked all the animals or at least liked them enough not to kill them.

One exception though: In my teens my grandfather kindly asked me to kill flicker woodpeckers who destroyed the barn siding. Their descendants still do. I had shot 10 or so in my lifetime, but the holes in barn always just got bigger. Now I mostly let them drill the same barn all daylong and patch their damage. Why kill a woodpecker in 2021, when they are up against the same things we are?

Tonight, I walked the Queensland heelers and saw in succession more coyotes, the two kestrels (fancy words for canny sparrow hawks), the huge sneaky, duplicitous, conniving great horned owl mute on an almond trunk, as if no one can see him in the shadows (his excrement is full of the most interesting skeletons).

A pit bull, dumped and gone wild, lingers around. He should seem scary, roaming the orchards without a collar and probably not vaxxed. But when he nears us, it is more like he smells food on the dogs and wants in on it. I’ve never seen a wild pit bull who wishes to be neither a pit bull nor wild, but just one of the quieter gang. No matter, the dogs shoo him away.

Then, presto, a rare gopher snake. He was immobile, either half-dead or faking such on the alleyway. I caught him and put him into a squirrel’s hole, so the tractor wouldn’t smash him the next morning. He even hesitated to slither in.

The nearby Killdeer (Charadrius vociferus—or the “plover”) appeared out of nowhere, as if his fake deceptive hops would lead the snake away from her eggs on the berm. There is not much to a Killdeer’s nest. They simply lay eggs on some straw and the dirt and then patrol about.

When they see you approaching, they squeak “kill-dee,” “kill-dee.” Then the act gets really interesting. They hop about in front of you, quite badly faking a broken wing or sprained leg. They think the dog, the squirrel or the owl are stupid. (Are they?)

So their enemies will mindlessly for the nth time follow them and almost devour them (As a kid, I too always was conned and would be pied-pipered away for hundreds of yards, always 4-feet short of his tail, never noticing that the speed of the hops was calibrated to my proximity).

Their idiot predators, after millennia I guess, never caught on that if they would go in the exact opposite direction, ignore their “I’m so hurt that you’ll probably catch and eat me” schtick, then the  coyote and owl will always find their bright, tasty eggs.

I confess I like these (often incompetent) fakers of the animal kingdom: the “hidden” owl that a fool can spot; the “frozen” snake who got his camouflage mixed up; the limp coyotes who never quite lead the dogs into a full ambush; the fake Red-tails who befriend you and then bolt; and these fake Killdeers who remind me of the high-school linebacker, who always had a sprained ankle predictably 10 minutes before kickoff time.

Sixty years have vanished and I guess I have regressed to seven again, same place, same animals, same story, same me, nothing more. I can’t tell whether the animals are the great-great something of their long dead ancestors of the 1950s, or simply became divine and are deathless and the same creatures. This lockdown proved not so awful in that it reminded me after a year, there is nature; there is the soil; there is the farm. Not much else matters in the end for us renters, who enter and exit the stage rather rapidly. Is it so bad to come full circle and end as you started?

Bumble bees hover and buzz the porch. My wife asked me who or what they were? I told her that the fakers owned the place. I knew these guys, and their great grandparents to the 50th degree and so knew their con too. When I was five, it was the same two bumble bees, same place, same faux menacing, some loud buzzing, same posturing pair who would never sting you.

For all the urbanization, the vandalism, the end of days pessimism, the animals do survive. They never leave.

I learned a lot from animals. They move seconds before we can hear or see or smell why. They have personalities too. Those two Red-tails follow us as we walk, soaring right over head as if to signal, “Don’t worry, you fools, we know you won’t’ shoot at us like the vandals from town have. We’re guiding you home. It’s just our way of doing things. But don’t count on us following you for too long. In the end, we can’t afford to be your friends.”

About a month ago, the bolder Red-tail flew about 10 feet above my head for about 200 yards. I remember Roman omens, but forgot whether it was good or bad when the eagle flew perpendicular or parallel—whether to cross or not the Rubicon? The surrealism was ruined when a crow attacked him and drove him off, a nasty FW-190 turning inside circles on a lumbering B-17.

I have an older brother who grew up here and became a writer. He too absorbed the animals and the domesticated ones too: the rabbits in my grandfather’s cage, the chickens in the coop, Jack the donkey and the pony Jim in the barn, and the lassie dog. He has written children’s creature poems, as if they were wise guy philosophers, lizards and such. I never asked him why, but I wonder whether he too remembers the magical child’s garden of the 1950s, in what my grandfather (1890-1976) and grandmother (1891-1983), the third generation who lived in this house, used to call, “Our own little paradise out here” And it was, or at least it seems so now.

The book was called What the Lizard Said.

Editor’s note on story version: This is the second version of the story which is significantly different from the first that was accidentally posted May 13 @ 9:30pm.

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16 thoughts on “A Child’s World of Animals”

  1. “Rabbits shriek like humans when they are hit.” (paraphrase) So do rats. We have chickens. If you have more than a few chickens, you have rats. They scream like scared little children when you catch them. That doesn’t mean I’m going to let them invade my home or harass my birds. When we catch them, they receive a BB to the skull (quick and hopefully painless, or at least less painful than poison or leaving them trapped to starve). I love animals, and I hate to do it. But rats are not our friends. I’ll just say this; The United States is infested with rats. If we let them run free out of kindness to dumb animals, they will starve themselves out very shortly after they starve us out. They aren’t honey bees or hawks or even baby possums (of whom I have saved/raised several). They are Rats. The more I see, the more I become convinced they are plague infested rats. I am old enough to share at least some of your nostalgia Victor, but those days are gone. Maybe they will return when this twisted and poisonous society has fallen to rubble from all the rats chewing holes in the walls and support beams.

  2. Mr. Hanson – we are about the same age, and I, too, find myself more reflective these days. There is an urgency to do all that’s left, as well as reconnecting with all that has gone before. I envy you your farm and all the memories that attend it. Our lake cottage evokes the same memories; hunting chipmunks with my Daisy in the woods; climbing Huckleberry Mountain to once again scoot up the old US Forest Service Watch Tower; riding the waves in Lake Michigan and holding my Dad’s hand if the undertow was too strong. Your wonderful article transported me back and I realize it’s time to head North and hit the porch swing once again.

  3. George A. Jones, Jr.

    Been reading your works for a long time. I have learned much & enjoyed every word. Your “Child’s World of Animals” has touched me on a personal level. I am a few years older than u but we have lived a similar life in the 1950’s. I grew up in A small Virginia town surrounded by farms & overflowing nature. I would ramble through woods & yards of the town folk on a voyage of discovery. It is amazing what Mother Nature showed me.
    Your article brought back many happy memories. Thank you. I await more of your serious & personal writings.
    Sincerely yours,
    George Jones

  4. Victor,
    Such wonderful stories. I am a year older than you. Love to watch nature. God’s creation leaves man’s creation in the dust.
    Be blessed,
    Rick Souza

  5. Iam a couple years older and really enjoy this stories I read and listen to everything you put out. The political stuff gets a little redundant but this stories I really look forward to. Thanks

  6. David E. Hightower

    How I enjoyed reading “A Child’s World of Animals”! In my child’s world in 1950’s West Texas, I was shipped to my Great Uncle’s “ranch” (He owned two parcels of land that he called his ranches; but he leased the acreage to dry-farming Cotton growers near Lamesa.) Uncle Jake was a scion of the Chisholm Family (the Chisholm Trail). He would pay me 50 cents for each pair of jackrabbit ears I gathered using his 1870’s rolling block, hexagonal 22 cal. Rifle. I could make up to a dollar a day until the day that I gut shot a jackrabbit that cried like a baby. And that was the end of my animal hunting days. From that day on, my attitude and actions paralleled the experiences you recounted in your article. Today, I outrageously overfeed (my wife’s comment) the squirrels, ground squirrels, birds, possums, voles, the occasional fox that visits our home yard and drink my early morning coffee watching them enjoy their bounty. Thanks for your article!

  7. Can you put Chapter ONE on screen for me to print.
    I have Two and Three. Thanks. Anne Coleman-Charleston, SC
    Love your writing. Reminds me of our old southern writers.
    Everyday thoughts, soothing, calming, thoughtful….

  8. I grew up on the edge of the San Fernando Valley in the 1950s and “hunted” in Yucca Valley from where you could hike over the shrub covered Santa Monica mountains and get views of the Pacific Ocean. Pretty regularly Gypsies would bring their flocks of sheep to graze. The shepherd had dogs to help and a little house on wheels to sleep in. On one of my adventures I came upon a dead, partially devoured sheep in tall grass. Scared the s—t out of me. We took the gopher population down regularly. Only firearm I had was a bolt action .22. Around this time Saturday Evening Post ran a serialized version of “To Kill A Mockingbird” and it wasn’t long thereafter that a golf coarse and hundreds of new homes replaced the sheep.
    There were three high schools in the San Fernando Valley when we moved to Tarzana and over 20 by the time I graduated college.

  9. Matthias Mendezona

    Your writing about growing up on a farm struck a chord with me because I too grew up in a farm in the Philippines. Thank you for reminding me of the truly important and beautiful things in this life.

  10. An excellent excerpt. As a fan of your more dry history, this was penned by a poet and philosopher that I had not previously recognized. Thanks, Victor.

  11. You, sir, are a national treasure. I love your writings and everything else you do. In your book “The Case for Trump”
    you mocked the use of the word “nuqular” – Now I bristle every time I hear you say it. Is this a conscious decision?

  12. This is a beautiful description of life in the rural Central Valley – thank you!
    Two unrelated thoughts;
    1. Your new format of having complete posts on your site is much appreciated.
    2. I thought I was the only one who accidentally hit “Publish” on a blog post when I meant to schedule it for later. 😎

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