A Life of Comically Calamitous Close Calls: Fresno, California (May 2014), Part Six B

Victor Davis Hanson

The big bike crack-up came years later.

In fairness, I would again say it was my fault and preventable.

My bike had an invisible hairline crack on the carbon fork from a prior fall years earlier. As I was riding, the top of my tire kept rubbing the side of the fork. I would get off, turn the bike upside down, spin the wheel, and yet find no rubbing (Yes, I stupidly failed to appreciate that the fork protruded into the tire only when my full weight was on the bike!).

I stopped three times to fix the slight rub on the tire on our 22-mile ride in May 2014. Nothing seemed to work. And then just a mile from the end, riding at about 17 mph, the front tire locked as the entire fork split open.

As the wheels locked and the handlebars dipped, I went right over the handlebars and hit the pavement face down, with the rim of the helmet shattering but saving my life.

Then my nose hit the pavement and was broken. Three of my bottom teeth also took the hit and went through my lower and upper lips, completely separating them, leaving me with no middle lip. The upper and lower left lips were no longer connected to the upper and lower right lips. (photo below, 3 days after ER surgery on face).

Three front bottom teeth were sheared off at the base. For some reason, the insides of my cheeks were deeply cut, and the outside cheek scraped and torn. Oh, and I was knocked out cold for several seconds. (I would need three tooth implants.)

In the ER I had no feeling in my legs (bruised spinal cord) for an hour or two. They worked on my face for three hours removing asphalt, reconnecting the lips, and sewing 150 stitches inside the cheeks and on cuts outside on the face.

Within days, I was supposed to co-lead 100 people for 14 days to Europe—or cancel our private tour. Somehow, I flew to Germany and on to Trieste. But I have no memory of much of that trip other than migraine headaches on the plane from pressure changes. I was nauseous and dizzy for three weeks.

But I recovered although I was told by the doctors that I was likely to lose permanently any feeling in the middle of lips (true), that the AC shoulder was ruined (true), and that some asphalt would stay there for a long time (still there).

About a month after the accident, I happened to dip my head down. A strange bolt of electricity shot down my left arm and leg. It got worse over the ensuing weeks. I couldn’t tie my shoes or look down.

A neurologist said that it was a slipped disk in the neck.

Another doctor suggested surgery.

And then I met an elderly neurologist who asked me a series of questions: The shock came about a month after the accident? It only occurs when you bend your neck down? You have no other symptoms—like dizziness, bladder problems, limp, etc.?

He was on to something.

He smiled and said, “Ah, Lhermitte’s sign.”

You bruised or overextended the spinal cord when you went over the handlebars and whiplashed the myelin sheath. As it heals, it will “spark” if you stretch it. Wear a neck brace when you ride or drive. Don’t bend your neck down. Sleep propped up. In one year, the shocks will likely disappear. Don’t let anyone operate on you, or give you drugs for Multiple Sclerosis.”

Thirteen months after the first shock, the bolts suddenly ceased. I could tie my shoes again without worrying about the electric current.

A plastic surgeon took out all the stitches before I flew out the next week. He warned me, “All these are going to scar and crease your face. The ER stitching was amateurish, and I have no record of where the stitches even are.”

He begged me to cancel the trip and let him fix my face. I demurred and lived with the scars and two new deep check creases.

And yes, I regret not listening to him.